This was chaotically interesting since I'm jumping in at chapter 4. You had me at *explosive* wine-shits. What I found enjoyable was that I understood that all the characters involved was in an urgency to get to their destination even if I didn't read the other chapters. (I tried...but now that I'm detoxing from Twitter, my attention span has come back) I didn't feel left out as a first time reader for this chapter. I like the dialogue and the narrators care free use of explaining things. Wine-shits / Samuel got stabbed in the ass. Those are nice little funny spots to break up the lore conversation between Lily and Corn. I have no idea why you name the boy Corn...but my first thought was: maybe he's a fan of the band Korn. No? Maybe? Just me? Also! I thought Samual's magic trick of disappearing and appearing was cool - such Doctor Strange vibes. But, it's limited right? I'm guessing it was towards the end. Very fun chapter. ❤️
wow i love your feedback, thank you!! yeah the wine-shits was a first draft entry and i'm glad i've kept it in haha. oh and in chapter 2 the kid says his name is Recorn, which Samuel thinks is a weird name so he calls him Corn. thanks for reading! you can also listen to the first three chapters that i've made into audiobooks too. those are in the "podcast" section
oh and the magic, yeah Samuel's super rusty at using magic and the raging hang over doesn't help either. i'm still working on everything, so i'd like the final version's fight to be even sloppier and more chaotic and Samuel to really get slapped around as he struggles to fight everyone
This was chaotically interesting since I'm jumping in at chapter 4. You had me at *explosive* wine-shits. What I found enjoyable was that I understood that all the characters involved was in an urgency to get to their destination even if I didn't read the other chapters. (I tried...but now that I'm detoxing from Twitter, my attention span has come back) I didn't feel left out as a first time reader for this chapter. I like the dialogue and the narrators care free use of explaining things. Wine-shits / Samuel got stabbed in the ass. Those are nice little funny spots to break up the lore conversation between Lily and Corn. I have no idea why you name the boy Corn...but my first thought was: maybe he's a fan of the band Korn. No? Maybe? Just me? Also! I thought Samual's magic trick of disappearing and appearing was cool - such Doctor Strange vibes. But, it's limited right? I'm guessing it was towards the end. Very fun chapter. ❤️
wow i love your feedback, thank you!! yeah the wine-shits was a first draft entry and i'm glad i've kept it in haha. oh and in chapter 2 the kid says his name is Recorn, which Samuel thinks is a weird name so he calls him Corn. thanks for reading! you can also listen to the first three chapters that i've made into audiobooks too. those are in the "podcast" section
oh and the magic, yeah Samuel's super rusty at using magic and the raging hang over doesn't help either. i'm still working on everything, so i'd like the final version's fight to be even sloppier and more chaotic and Samuel to really get slapped around as he struggles to fight everyone
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